i have no idea what i'm doing ... & i've forgotten how to pretend.

suddenly ...

there are so many of you to stalk on facebook.

could have been lovers
should have been lovers
dickhead who flirted with me but started dating someone else instead
was a lover
should never have been a lover
deleted lovers
deleted could have been lovers
deleted should have been lovers.

and then all these random cute boys.

yes, life needed. now.

dear mister pillow ...

could you like grow a pair of hands and legs and hug me back ?

I am not that fussed on the face.

for now.

i don't know no one who makes tea as good as i do. i frigging wanted to marry the chai today. bitch got me a mammoth of a headache and how though. clearly, we need to work our issues out.

maybe nsa sex then. works for me. et toi chai ?

maybe all this procrastination will lead to something good.

maybe.

maybe.

maybe.

maybe.

maybe.

maybe.

today ..

i could have said a thousand ridiculous things too. lets face it, it's my thing. i know how to serve my sarcasm.

i didn't. because unlike you, i don't hit below the belt. 

i hope you feel better.  i do miss you & will continue to.

one more blow isn't going to kill me. it'll hurt. plenty.

having one of your closest friends judge you & your choices because you're gay isn't easy.

maybe you'll come around. maybe you won't.

tomorrow will be easier & the day after a few weeks past today, it won't matter as much.

dear f ... fuck you very much.

i hate those bear hugs. they piss me off. they mock me. they make me sick. the next time i see you, in between slapping you & kicking you in the groin, i will tell you that. or maybe i won't. maybe i'll call you and just tell you what a jackass you are or at least thats what i think. that & how much i hate those bear hugs.

as i discovered, you're still under an alias in my phone & i didn't bother changing that because it was too much effort. i did contemplate deleting it all together.

stupid frigging i am happy to see you bear hugs.

fuck off.

that and i am loving the small caps today.

also, you reckon it's a case of sour grapes, i'm confused.