sniffle - sneeze - cough - take a drag - repeat !!!

I have a cold and I have a bad cough and my throat hurts and my eyes r puffy.

Sigh.

and worse I have become Oh so fat again. SO I have decided. the best way to lose weight is by falling seriously ill.

Easy way. The best way. Plus people around get so nice and sympathetic. Mum gets all emotional and usually goes " Tellme, just tellme what you want, but dont stay ill like this"

a new phone and a laptop ma

so I have been drinking
and I have been smoking
and I havnt taken any antibiotics yet.

I even had three sweet lassi's with lots of ice @ urban tadka last night. the night before slyly gulped away to long island's at hardrock cafe, where if i must say so, the crowd sucks.

but I am not falling ill only.
my bad cough wont get worse and my cold just wont get any colder.

just how will I lose weight if my immune system refuses to succumb.

and whats worse, only once in the last four days have I had a temperature.

- sniffle -
- cough -
- cough -

travel tales !!!

My friend "C" is a liarcock. He lied, blatently. I have been duped. Misled. Decieved. Tricked. In my best drama queen voice, I say " Why me, why must it always be me !?! "

What happened I hear you ask !?!

- sniffle -
- sigh -

I went to goa. Yepieeeeeeeee. And C, the bastard lied to me that we were flying kingfisher airlines. Instead when I got to the airport, I went to the wrong terminal yes, ok I am daft and then walked across the two terminals, ofcourse a porter took my bags and when I reached the second terminal, I realized we were flying frigging spice jet. Can you imagine the trauma of having to see a funky red colour shuttle* with leather couches as your being transferred in an overloaded, no place to sit or stand shuttle.



Thus, that is how I got cheated. My own friend decieved me and tricked me into flying a bad service provider.

Ok, spice jet wasnt THAT bad. But kingfisher is a lot cooler :)

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I love Goooo-aaaaaaaaah and this certainly was the case of being third time lucky :) My third trip to goa this year and this absofuckinlutely outdid the prior two. The very first night we landed in goa, went to britto's and got ourselves a bill of 14k. Yes, that hurts. 14k in a place like britto's. And 11,o0o was only alcohol :)

Well, briefly in 3 days in goa I had

13 shots of something called "Hot Pants" @ britto's
Hajaar repeats of Long Island Iced Tea
Innumerable shots of something called "Sexy Squeeze" & "Suck & Lick" @ mambo's
and
God alone knows how much vodka

Yipieeeee. I love Goa :) I could go on and on, tho I'll shuddap and leave u with some pictures. I only have the first lot, as the second lot of pics have been lost thanks to my crashedddd memory card. a typical goa snap I know :)

beautiful, no !?

bbay from the aeroplane!!!

candle gone crazy !!!

this is where stayed, ronild or whatever.
and No, I ddnt like it.

The view from our room


on the way to the beach

saluttt !!!

at baga beach, sucked

mooooooo ! veena, are u listening !?!
and seeing !? see see see

at south anjuna, on the ways to curlies !!!
to score some, to roll some

so theres a story here of how Megan and I saved this woman



it so goes, she was drunk and how and she was walking away from curlies

and she kept tripping over, finally to fall into the waves and then to get pulled into the sea

so thats when Megan and I like ran, like a good distance to save her


took her to her shack, a stones throw away from away from curlies, where this ungrateful whore

had lost her keys and she just sat there and rudely asked us to LEAVE. As we left she stripped

naked and started bathing there, yes right there, naked at the beach and half an hour later, the

bitch was back at

curlies to drink some more. Suprisingly, they served her more alcohol.

These shots are taken when she tripped on her way back for more alcohol.

*blush* then she came back and winked at me

and then hooked up with a supercute guy.

so much for the good deed. I spoilt my phone, my wallet and she hooks up.

Like HELLO KARMA, WHAT ABOUT ME!?!


a moment of tranquility.
i love this shot

the feet of the megan

vodka on the rocks !?!

happy happy things being rolled :)


**************************************************

I had another 200 shots which I lost. Some rather kewl ones. Sigh. Technology is seriously taking some kind of revenge on me. So thats all for the goa snaps. In the next post i'll give u an update on my kolkatta trip, the trauma of having to fly air-deccan and the friggin floods in kolkatta.

for now I leave u with this

a conversation with Einstein

Me:- Hello "s"
him:- yep, bolo
Me:- achhaa, what is that bus thingy called, you know the one that transfers people from the terminal to the aeroplane.
him:- you still call it an aeroplane
me:- yes, i like aeroplane. tell fast, what is that bus thingy called

after 30 seconds of profound silence

him:- I think its called a "bus"

No kidding Einstein. What would I have done without you.

I hate it when the lights go off.
Just like that only.
Get out the canvas, cuz for now I wish to paint the perfect image of restrain.
It is for you, I do this.
So when I emerge.
You shall gawk
You shall gape
and
you shall gasp.
See, the things I do for you.
If only I put half these efforts for me,
the lights wud never go off, just like that only.
You think !?
Bitch.

yeh khudse toh na tu chhupa ...

Someone's done it again.
They've switched on the mixie in my brain.
Everythings getting jumbled again..

No ! No ! No ! No !
See, no one ever listens to what I have to say
Its my brain, dammit !!!

Please, I plead.
Dont mix my emotions with all that chaos again.
Please. Dont.

My devil wears Gini & Jony !!!

There was a time when my neice and I shared a very nice relationship. Aaah, those good old days. She'd hate me, pinch me, bite me and throw things at me. I would pinch her, bite her and throw back things at her. Ofcourse, the older one always get slaughtered and blood wins over errr blood so my sister would insist since I am the older one I am always at fault. Hello, she's only like 18 years younger than me. Just because she's popped out of you, doesnt meant you favour her, Ok !!!

If we had one of those who-do-you-like-the-most questions, Mama[thats moi] always ranked last. Sometimes even after gopal bhaiya and Indu dd [ the domestic helps at home]

We did have our moments, my neice and I. When if her momma yelled at her, she'd come cuddle into me or if she was way too sleepy or lazy she'd come and keep her head on my legs and yes she'd occassioanly share her chocolates with me also. But she had her life, she wouldnt give a rats arse if I came or went unless I was getting her a barbie of chocolates or something she was concerned with.

Life was good.

Until, that fateful day. My stupid friggin birthday. My neice just disappeared. And I was presented with a six yr old who adored me suddenly. Everyone was amused. My sister was ecstatic. My neice was her secret weapon which she had successfully unleashed on me. I prayed and hoped this was a phase and it would die out. None of us could fathom the sudden sprout of love for me.

Yesterday, my sister had a migraine attack, so I had to go fetch my neice from the creche. And since its the weekend, she spends saturday and sunday at her nani's, which is the adjacent to her house :) We came home to an empty house. No Nana, no Nani.

- gasp -
- shriek -

Which means until they returned I was to babysit her. So B and I decided to watch some tele. She switched on pogo as I stared at the screen. After several minutes of random television staring she decided to switch on the computer and god alone knows do what ...

B- Mama, how to go to programs
B- How to make this big
B- How to do typing !?!
B- Why is this monitor so big
B- Why does this mouse have a red light !?!
B- Why do you keep the comptuer outside nani's room and not in her room
B- Why do you have two computers, we have only one at home.

And suddenly she got off the chair and started jumping. Yes admist all those life threating confusions, she started jumping.

Me:- [with a look of concern] what happened !?
B- I wanna go do potty
Me:- ok, go downstairs and do potty then
B- No, I want to go to nani's bathroom
Me- You cant, its locked
B:- Ok, I want to go to your bathroom and do potty
Me:- ok, then go to my bathroom
B:- It's dark upstairs, come up and on the lights
Me:- Switch on the lights, not on
B:- *giggles* Come no, come no

So we walk upstairs and she goes sits on the pot and I turn to leave

B- Noooooooooooooooooo
me:- what nooooo
B:- Dont leave
Me:- I am just sittin in the bedroom. what do you want me to do, sit and stare at you poop !?
B:- what is pooop !?
Me:- Poop, is potty
B:- So why do you call it poop then?!
Me:- I am gonna sit outside, you err know how to flush, right !?!
B- yes
Me:- and you know to clean yourself.
B- [look of terror] Yes, but our pipe doesnt look the same.
Me:- It's called a jet spray and its the same, my knob is broken so you just need to turn on the tap
B- Why your knob is broken
Me:- cuz it is
B- Mama, why your celeing is black in colour !?
Me:- cuz I wanted a black celieng
B- then why is our celeing not black in colour
Me- cuz ur momma doesnt like black celiengs
B- you like black celeings
me- yes, I do.
B- why you like black celiengs
me- shut up and do potty or the cockroach will come and eat you
B- *giggles* cockroaches cannot eat humans

and I walked out - two mins later she shouts

B- Mamaaaaaaaa, I finished
B- Finisheddddddddd, Finisheeddddddddd
Me- ok, did you flush
B- Yes.
Me- good then wash your hands
B- but i havnt cleaned up yet
Me- Why not
B- Cuz I dunno how to with this pipe, you do you do you do you do you do
Me- [almost ready to faint at the thought of having to clean someone else ass]

I shut my eyes, stopped breathing and just aimed the jet spray at her ass

B- why you closing your eyes
Me- cuz I dun wanna have to look into the pot or your bum
B- *giggle* you're so funny
Me- ok, you're done. get off
B- No, its still not clean
Me- ofcourse it is
B- No it isnt
Me- Yes it is
B- No
Me - Yes, ok here some more water
B- it is still not clean
Me- shut up and wash your hands now
B- No mama, its not clean here see

and she jumps off the pots and moons me

Me- stop mooning me
B- what is mooning
Me- when you show someone your butt its called mooning
B- what that means
Me- That means nothing. Go wash your hands
B- What butt means
Me- Your bum is also called butt
B- then why did you just say moon
Me- Wash your hands
B- I dont wanna use this handwash, I want the one in Nani's room
Me- you cant have that cuz the room is locked and I dun have the keys to it
B- But i want that
Me- you cannot have that
B- why is the room locked
Me- cuz nani isnt home
B- so you're there
Me- how much do you talk !?! yap yap yap yap
B- *giggles* I like talking
B- Mama, can i sleep in your room tonight !?!

Thankfully the intercom rang right then. thankfully. Just when will I become the hated mama again. Just when !!?!

but dr. stoned i think i just burnt ma nose !!!

What is it with the world !? Cant they let me be !? One, one night I decide to go to sleep at 10.00 pm and people cant stand it.

Eight. Eight calls in a span of 15 mins from different people. Hello, I too, could be sleeping sometimes you know. After 7 tortmenting, I am sleeping talk to you later conversations, when the phone displayed Dr.A calling, I knew the night was gonna take a rather adventerous detour.

Dr.A is your 20 something stereotypical woman crazy, boob obsessed, alcohol guzzling, marjuana smoking, rave going duggie , kazi loving, nonsensical child, born to a superobsessive, hyperdominating gynac mother and father who had taken it up as their life's mission to make him a doc. And I totally relate to his life, cuz the dude like has some like seriously cool deejay'ing skills but is forced into a proffession cuz he's the only son and he needs to take care of the family hospital.

blasphemous !!! simply blasphemous !!!!

And for his undying love for *cough* the finer things, he's called dr.stoned.

him:- why the fuck dunchyu answer your phone
me:- cuz like I cud be friggin sleeping.
him:- get a life, come down. I am below your house
me:- and ur stalking me because?
him:- because I have alcohol and nice nice things that get you high
me:- I am so not doing this again. I havnt slept well since monday nite after I stayed over at ur place
him:- I said a-l-c-o-h-o-l and m-a-r-i-j-u-a-n-a
me: I said No. I said Self Control
him:- dont do this, you know you want it
me:- ummmmm No I dont
him:- i am only giving you what you want. you know you want it.
me:- fine. ok. u win. alcohol wins. my life sucks anyways. i cud do with a joint or two. but not for over an hour or two dude, I have to be up at 7 to hit the gym
him:- sure thing dude

- sigh -

I came home at 5.30. There was a bottle of Jack Daniels. There was Vodka. There was beer and three quater bottles of old monk and the pounding headache tells me, I have had almost most it . For some reason, krutika decided to convert last night into a celebrate domino's night, there were four large pizza's. and I invaribly ended up eating most them I am not only hungover, I also have an upset stomach thanks to the scrambled eggs we ingested at 4.30 am at the highway.

And

I dropped ash on my nose as I lay on the terrace smoking up and now I have tiny meeny spot on me nose.

Conclusion:- I am gonna turn into an old, obese, overweight, alcoholic with a burnt nose.

************************************************************************************

On a totally unrealted note, I gotted me a new camera .
[yay]

The kodak v610 dual lense easy share. Tres Chic. Love it. So here some random arsed photography from your's truly.

thats the warping section in ma factory.
always wanted to click a photo of this

warping again


took this shot at some property I had gone to see in
khopoli. And I love this shot, cuz this tree looks friggin freaky.

aint no sunshine.
thats the view from ma terrace @ work
this is where i sneak up for a smoke :)

scratch free :)

it's soaky poaky time !!!


woof woof woof woof
translated to - like dude what color am I !?!

very very randhaaaam !!!!

p.s:- wanted to do some post prod. work on photoshop.
lazy arsed. next time.