poverty and it's many ugly faces !

my feet, they hurt. the right foot it hurts more. it's been hurting for a while. the blessed pony shoes, they don't do much for my feet besides looking good. so yes, the feet they hurt. and I know what the doctor is going to say, it's the driving. so now I must keep a driver, which actually isn't that bad a thing, only if drivers ddn't charge.

there are these peeps, friends of my parents, a couple I am not much fond of , but suddenly the husband, he has found much love and respect from me. because truly, after a sunday that began with meetings which is blasphempous it is to hear someone go "beta, you are looking so good, you have lost so much weight".

jump
jump
shrieks of joy
tears of joy
jump
jump

Awww, I love you too uncle and auntyji and your children and yes for today i will ignore how annoying you are. But the mother, she must she always spoil joyous moments of pride. She went, of course he'll lose weight, he refuses to eat. She makes me sound anorexic. I mean, yes I want to be anorexic, but I am still far away.

the gutterspace, she isn't a very nice woman. she doesnt support my cause which justifies spending an obscene amount on the gucci sunglasses I saw today and neither did she persuade me to buy the slim fit fcuk denims which looked so nice. agreed, they were just like the pair I had on, but they were a size smaller [hee haw]{and my current pair, they have become lose ok] and ummm my dark blue denims have a beige'ish base and they had a blue'ish, you know what I mean !?

but the real point being, the gucci shades, they're almost the same prize as the issey miyake watch. what should I spend the money [that I don't have] on !? shades which will protect my eyes and spread the vision of my design, thus saving the world from bad design and such catastrophe's or a watch, which will help me see the time and remind me of how i am running out of it.[and what a wonderful job it will do, no?]

other than being poor and not having enough money to indulge in myself, i got drunk last sunday over brunch and then in my drunk state was taken to shiv sagar, where i was fed insane amounts of coffee, idli, masala dosa and I am told I also guzzled some watermelon juice. And of course, gutterspace had taken it as her mission to NOT LET ME BE DRUNK AND THUS HAPPY, so she kept stuffing lime wedges in my mouth and then finally I was made to puke.

I don't think the guys at shiv sagar or out of the blue want to see me anytime soon. having said that, the guys at vama don't want to see me either, cuz I got them to bill me for clothes that at the last moment I decided not to buy.

Being poor sucks.

Anyone listening !?

GOD, are you !?

after much thought and contemplation and retrospection and introspection and reconsideration I have come to the conclusion, I am in love with myself.

of stupidity, eavesdropping and discovery of hajmola's leading to constipation.

Question:- What is stupidity !? How do you define it !?

Answer:- Stupidity is being up at 3.07 am, blogging when one should really be typing away a copy on Msword. A copy one hasn't started yet. However, really that is an advanced level of stupidity. The first symptoms of stupidity would be speaking with the editor of the magazine earlier in the evening, telling them you have a draft ready and promising to email it to them by the next morning and then instead of writing the copy, play pacman and four wheel madness on igoogle.

However, stupidity can be expressed in varied forms. Like knowing you are out of ciggerrates but not buying them on your way home, simply because you ddn't feel like stopping. Knowing that you will have a long night and the fact that you cannot chew, munch, nibble on anything after dinner [because you're like trying to resemble the human body againwill drive you mad] so you will need to smoke. Especially when you had tomato soup and salad for dinner. Sigh

Stupidity can also be expressed by chewing one too many hajmola's as if they were running out of fashion and then realizing that actually leads to CONSTIPATION.

The biggest form of stupidity however is expressed through this conversation I eavesdropped on this evening in the steam room

guy 1:- where should I go, mahableshwar or goa !?
me [thinking] IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION !!??
guy 2:- without any doubt man, mahableshwar, its beautiful
me :- [ERR - OKAY THEN]
guy 1:- but i'll get so bored, are you sure you can't come !?
guy 2:- dude, i'd die for you man, but I am teaching you how to stand up on your feet
me :- [no sorry, WHAT !]
guy 1:- but it'll be so much fun
me:- [HELLLLOOOOOOOO MAHABLESHWAR !!?]
guy 2:- just chill out man, take it easy, spend some time with the guys
guy 1:- yea maybe I can go for long walks, plug my ipod in and stuff like that you know

They're not boyfriends, they are not gay, there are just two very ANNOYING guys who talk and talk and talk, have just moved from delhi [guy 1 being sorta cute but super hairy and guy 2 has a nice body but sad face] Guy 1 even drives a BMW because I have seen him drive one a coupla times BUT MAHABLESHAWAR !? AND THEY TALK AN AWFUL LOT. like happy cheery, we must have a conversation for every fucking moment we spend awake.

and then 20 minutes later we happened to be in the LIFT

me:- [fiddling with my phone]
guy2:- is that an iPhone or an iMate
me:- iPhone
guy2:- you like cricket !?
me:- WHAT !?
guy2:- cricket [then does a lil animated version of batting, just incase I ddn't figure it out]
me:- errr, yes I know what cricket is
guy2:- so you like to bat !?
me:- errr no
guy2:- oh, I thought you did, your bag is autographed by sachin tendulkar

and thankfully, my floor had arrived and I knew how sachin tendulkar is.

NOW WHAT, I SHOULD CARRY A BAG IN COLORS OF THE PRIDE TO AVOID STUPID CONVERSATION WITH PEOPLE WHO HOLIDAY IN MAHABLESHWAR !?

I mean go to kashid if you want quiet and peace and beautiful. Alibagh ?! Matheran !?

MAHABLESHWAR OVER GOA !?
really !?

- blasphemy -

because this is how we do it ... understand !? you better understand !

you can tell, I am in one of those moods. And well, if you cannot tell, then too bad. your loss I say.

theres so much that has been happening. I miss not blogging like my life depended on it. Damn facebook. If you are on my facebook, you'd probably know which color underwear I wore today, that is how often I update my status. Yes, very looser-needs-a-life-desperately kind of me.

- sigh -

but then theres only so much I can do to please the world. I can diet, workout attempt to lose weight and fit into the clothes in my wardrobe or I can go out, drink every night, eat out and attempt to redefine the human body form. Sadly for the world, I seem to have chosen the former for now. So which means we are working out and how. 90 squats the other day if you must know. Yes my blessed trainer.

And oh, I have taken up to like cooking. I cook my meals to make sure there is no more 1/10th of oil and the curd is hung and beaten up and the lettuce is clean and the chicken is steamed and you get the picture. But then there are side effects to me cooking. My domestic help will probably poison me in the next few days. I will burn the house down or I'll kill someone with the food I cook. Because not everything I cook turns out edible. But some of the stuff, yummy mummy.

Like this is what I cooked today. Yummy mummy x 1000383 I tell you. When was the last time you made yourself chilly chicken !? Tell tell. That being a different story that only after I was almost done cooking, I realised this was a 180 cal serving. Not a very fine idea.



and the other day, i'd kick anyones ass with my sandwich. It was so damn good. Oh my fucking god. I almost "came" eating it. 0% fat and high fibre sandwich bread from moshe's. yummy mummy and how. Then getting all worked up, I even bought an oven. So very domestic of me. I know. And then I burnt myself and the glove. Who knew that stupid thing down in the oven that gets all red would fucking burn me. THEY SHOULD BLOODY WARN YOU DAMN IT !!!



but anyways, no pain, no gain aye. I lost 4 kilo's. So 90 squats and bajra bread and burning ur hand does pay off. Well, a lil more body fat to burn and then we're on track baby !!!

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In other big news. I bought my neice a furrly little thing like broom would say. And here's a picture of the devil who btw is on a mission to chew the world apart and pee all over the globe.



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and it other news. I am off for my annual pilgrimage trip tomorrow. Though this time its a very short trip, we will make the best of it. Like they say, when you hear the voice of the lord, you hear the voice. So here I come god, to escape the unfairness of this world, to redeem my innocence, to drown it in alcohol and smoke it up in weed. I herebly pledge, to dissolve myself, in the sun, the sand and the sea. Goaaaaaah. Here I come. Amen

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see you on the other side of the weekend.