I am pissed. I am annoyed. I am frustrated. At things, many things. At people, many people. At myself, for reasons one too many. I am tired and bored and angry and sleepy and hopeful and hopeless and many more things all rolled into one.

I am tired of the men I like. I am tired of my family. I am tired of responsibilities. I am tired of work. I am tired of my friends. I am tired of social obligations. I am tired of social pressures. I am tired of gyming. I am tired of wanting to look good. I am tired of looking bad. I am tired of smiling for pictures. I am tired of smiling at people. I am tired of being gay.

I want to slap the next person I see. I want to run my car over every other person on the street, for one too many reasons. Good reasons.

I want to scream out loud and ask people to fuck off. I want to hammer my brain until it stops thinking and then take it out, squish it through a strainer, blend it in a blender, freeze it and feed it to the dogs as a summer drink.

only, i am afraid. they'll stop being happy too. they'll start worrying, they'll start thinking, they'll start contemplating and then they'll stop being them and they'll become me.

so instead, i am just gonna slap the next 138373 people I see. just pray, you are not one amongst them.

FUCKKKKKKKKK !!!!