ok, i am talking to myself

It doesn't help sometimes right, however hard you do try and repeatedly remind yourself, I am beyond this, I am above this, I can do it, I should do it and I will so kick ass, bitch. But it gets you, face down. It's not working, you remind yourself, it's not fucking working.

And then slowly, somewhere you calm down ... you breathe and a faint voice tells you, maybe this time it'll all work out. Something will, at least. It's coming your way, promise. You'll meet someone nice, work will start looking up[per], things will get a lot better. It's a promise. [yea, i sorta promise myself a lot of things]

Sigh life, vexatious life.

edited after 15 minutes

And then ... when you turn away, for a moment that is, you realize your father has walked up, standing right behind, reading what you had just typed up.

me:- dad, do you mind, you know I don't like it when you peep like this
him:- you're my son
me:- So !? It's personal, please
him:- What is so personal that you can't share with your parents, what am I to assume now, are you doing something wrong !?

INDIAN PARENTS !!!

and the faint voice goes, get ready to curl into fetus-like position and die, 25 in 17 days ...

-gulp-
-gasp-
-shriek-

me:- It will all be alright.
faint voice:- you promise?
me:-I promise. I really do.
me:- wait, aren't you're supposed to be the convincing voice
faint voice:- really, me !?