What if ?!

Had one of the most wierdest days today. But suprisngly I feel happy. I feel content. Most importantly I feel in control of my life after a very long period. Its been a long pause. Breathe, that is all I propose to do. Enough of trying to catch up with ahem life. Yes, drama. The very essence of my life.

Some whore, bitch, slut, fuckface, dickweed, cockroach scratched my car today while it was parked outside the gym. A big big bad scratch. Make that two scratches. One on the door and one behind the second car. My poor car. Looks all battered and bruised. Yes, still happy.

Walking up the stairs, on the window behind the railing I saw the silhouette of a lizard. I hate em. Loathe em. Abhor em. On the very first night in my new house, in my black beautiful bathtub I saw two lizards mate. That left me scarred. What better an opportunity to knock the back of the frosted window and scare the living shit out of that lizard. Well turns out, it wasnt the silhouette * Insert a long nerve wrecking shriek here * Ahem yes, still in contol.

I saw a profile this afternoon. The profile was of a very cute guy coming into Mumbai. A very cute boi looking to hook up with men. Boi's rather. He is visiting. This time I am in the country. He is my ex. We dont speak. I took six years to forget him. He's coming back. I wont see him. I will bump into him. I know many a bitches who will call me to tellme he is here and ask me if I met him. I dont want to. Happy, yes. Scared, yes. In control ?! Yes.

We fought again. Ok, I fought again. He called twice, I ddnt answer. He messaged once. I ddnt answer. I know I am being unreasonable. He knows he being unfair. I cant decide. Its time he's either in or out. I have survived two days w/o talking. I can survive, right ?! In control ?! Hopefully.

I spent the entire day sticking to my diet plan. Ddnt eat a single morsel between the meals. Walked into the bakery to buy brown bread. I hate brown bread. I love bread. White bread. Ddnt succumb to nothing. Bought muffins for my neice. Walked into Mcdonalds. No filet-0-fish me, thank you. No fries or wedges either. No, none of it. Yes, I did indulge in a cuppa. In control. Like hell you ask ?!

I have this morbid fear I will lose this. Tho for now, I am in control. I am happy and I am content. Come you freaking lizard. Lets see how your tail dances when I cut you off.

P.S: The title and the post have no connection. But what if ........ !?!