My devil wears Gini & Jony !!!

There was a time when my neice and I shared a very nice relationship. Aaah, those good old days. She'd hate me, pinch me, bite me and throw things at me. I would pinch her, bite her and throw back things at her. Ofcourse, the older one always get slaughtered and blood wins over errr blood so my sister would insist since I am the older one I am always at fault. Hello, she's only like 18 years younger than me. Just because she's popped out of you, doesnt meant you favour her, Ok !!!

If we had one of those who-do-you-like-the-most questions, Mama[thats moi] always ranked last. Sometimes even after gopal bhaiya and Indu dd [ the domestic helps at home]

We did have our moments, my neice and I. When if her momma yelled at her, she'd come cuddle into me or if she was way too sleepy or lazy she'd come and keep her head on my legs and yes she'd occassioanly share her chocolates with me also. But she had her life, she wouldnt give a rats arse if I came or went unless I was getting her a barbie of chocolates or something she was concerned with.

Life was good.

Until, that fateful day. My stupid friggin birthday. My neice just disappeared. And I was presented with a six yr old who adored me suddenly. Everyone was amused. My sister was ecstatic. My neice was her secret weapon which she had successfully unleashed on me. I prayed and hoped this was a phase and it would die out. None of us could fathom the sudden sprout of love for me.

Yesterday, my sister had a migraine attack, so I had to go fetch my neice from the creche. And since its the weekend, she spends saturday and sunday at her nani's, which is the adjacent to her house :) We came home to an empty house. No Nana, no Nani.

- gasp -
- shriek -

Which means until they returned I was to babysit her. So B and I decided to watch some tele. She switched on pogo as I stared at the screen. After several minutes of random television staring she decided to switch on the computer and god alone knows do what ...

B- Mama, how to go to programs
B- How to make this big
B- How to do typing !?!
B- Why is this monitor so big
B- Why does this mouse have a red light !?!
B- Why do you keep the comptuer outside nani's room and not in her room
B- Why do you have two computers, we have only one at home.

And suddenly she got off the chair and started jumping. Yes admist all those life threating confusions, she started jumping.

Me:- [with a look of concern] what happened !?
B- I wanna go do potty
Me:- ok, go downstairs and do potty then
B- No, I want to go to nani's bathroom
Me- You cant, its locked
B:- Ok, I want to go to your bathroom and do potty
Me:- ok, then go to my bathroom
B:- It's dark upstairs, come up and on the lights
Me:- Switch on the lights, not on
B:- *giggles* Come no, come no

So we walk upstairs and she goes sits on the pot and I turn to leave

B- Noooooooooooooooooo
me:- what nooooo
B:- Dont leave
Me:- I am just sittin in the bedroom. what do you want me to do, sit and stare at you poop !?
B:- what is pooop !?
Me:- Poop, is potty
B:- So why do you call it poop then?!
Me:- I am gonna sit outside, you err know how to flush, right !?!
B- yes
Me:- and you know to clean yourself.
B- [look of terror] Yes, but our pipe doesnt look the same.
Me:- It's called a jet spray and its the same, my knob is broken so you just need to turn on the tap
B- Why your knob is broken
Me:- cuz it is
B- Mama, why your celeing is black in colour !?
Me:- cuz I wanted a black celieng
B- then why is our celeing not black in colour
Me- cuz ur momma doesnt like black celiengs
B- you like black celeings
me- yes, I do.
B- why you like black celiengs
me- shut up and do potty or the cockroach will come and eat you
B- *giggles* cockroaches cannot eat humans

and I walked out - two mins later she shouts

B- Mamaaaaaaaa, I finished
B- Finisheddddddddd, Finisheeddddddddd
Me- ok, did you flush
B- Yes.
Me- good then wash your hands
B- but i havnt cleaned up yet
Me- Why not
B- Cuz I dunno how to with this pipe, you do you do you do you do you do
Me- [almost ready to faint at the thought of having to clean someone else ass]

I shut my eyes, stopped breathing and just aimed the jet spray at her ass

B- why you closing your eyes
Me- cuz I dun wanna have to look into the pot or your bum
B- *giggle* you're so funny
Me- ok, you're done. get off
B- No, its still not clean
Me- ofcourse it is
B- No it isnt
Me- Yes it is
B- No
Me - Yes, ok here some more water
B- it is still not clean
Me- shut up and wash your hands now
B- No mama, its not clean here see

and she jumps off the pots and moons me

Me- stop mooning me
B- what is mooning
Me- when you show someone your butt its called mooning
B- what that means
Me- That means nothing. Go wash your hands
B- What butt means
Me- Your bum is also called butt
B- then why did you just say moon
Me- Wash your hands
B- I dont wanna use this handwash, I want the one in Nani's room
Me- you cant have that cuz the room is locked and I dun have the keys to it
B- But i want that
Me- you cannot have that
B- why is the room locked
Me- cuz nani isnt home
B- so you're there
Me- how much do you talk !?! yap yap yap yap
B- *giggles* I like talking
B- Mama, can i sleep in your room tonight !?!

Thankfully the intercom rang right then. thankfully. Just when will I become the hated mama again. Just when !!?!