it's one of those moments

when I want to curl up and vanish, only the flabs of fat on my stomach hurt when I attempt to do so. I am telling you, this lack of flexibility and fat issues won't even let me die in peace.

Now that I am done with the drama and feel .0000021% better about venting my frustrations to no one [I mean who reads this blog] I shall vent some more. I may have lost my wonderful sisley chino's that I bought two days ago, because I cannot seem to find the bag and I won't find out until tuesfuckingday because my driver is on leave tomorrow and there is no way to know where the bag went. Slight nagging feeling tells me I may left it at the Molton Brown counter where lady ahead of me shopped for 28,000/-. [yes, I had to just mention that] and when I saw her filling out some random form, she was the wife of a  certain very much in demand Indian contemporary artist. That explains the bundles she had oozing out of her bag.

I hate being poor & I hate being careless. I mean the two aren't quite a combo you know. I hate not getting to wear fabulous pants I bought [Glad I didn't buy the belt, imagine, losing a fabulous pair of chino's and a belt together, omg {insert horrifying scream}(oooh, brackets inside bracket love happened)]

But then since I am all about positivity these days, I am hoping that my Charlie has kept it somewhere. See p-o-s-i-t-i-v-i-t-y. I mean I will go to the gym soon enough and lose weight and I will move out and I will get more work and I will meet someone fantastic who is gorgeous looking and wears nice shoes and is a size 43 and has nice bags I can use and is the same shirt size as me and a waist 30 [OK, fine 32] and has a love and fascination for fun socks and underwear and reads and talks theater and art in the same breath [I don't do either] and owns art I can borrow for my shoots and gifts me art & shoes & bags & clothes & holidays and wants to buy me everything I lay my eyes on and does not think I am too judgmental for my own good and agrees with me it is okay to have everything I want.

Yes, I am definitely all about positivity.

Btw, how annoying is it when you have waited for something to go on sale FOREVER, I mean like two fucking seasons and then you give up and buy it and then it goes on sale like a week after you have bought it. So then you learn to keep your ego aside and to end the agony, you convince yourself that you must have those fabulous shoes in another color too, I mean why, they are on sale, aren't they ?

Then when you go and ask the sales assistant if he has them in the white he goes "but sir, don't you already have them in two colors?"

I mean what the fuck ? Is everyone on earth dedicated to remind me how I don't need another pair of shoes ?

If the boy wants some shoes, go get him some shoes.

Enough said.

And no, they did not have it in my size.