RIGHT, who needs enemies right !? [casa does a guest post]

Ladies and Gentlemen: We have gathered here today, to give you an opportunity to participate in the auction, of Gay Bombay’s finest, rarest, cutest, hottest and poorest find – Once Again. *drum rolls* All proceeds from the auction will be donated to the Send-Once-Again-to-Shop-at-Gucci Foundation, which participates only in the most worthy and humanitarian of all causes. Shopping, that is. Luxury shopping only, though. Yes. Poor we might be, but we are still classy. Broke we might be, but we are still snobbish. *ahem*

So please turn your attention to Exhibit A, slouching standing at the center of this stage. Admire that perfect face, that charming smile, that trimmed bod, that cute ass… What? Did I hear someone call him fat? Oh no no, he isn’t. That is just, ummm, bad lighting. Yes indeed gentlemen, I assure you he isn’t rotund or plump or any such. Did you say he looks a bit old? Oh c’mon, your vision is impaired. He is the freshest and finest and maturest of them all. Really. Oh, and he speaks well too. Oh who sniggers there at the back? He does speak! He does. When he is in a good mood, that is. No no, he doesn’t bite. Often. What did I hear you say? An alcoholic? Never. Never does he drink. At 9 in the morning. Never.

So let the bidding start. Remember, the exhibit is open to dating the best bidder. No no, not the highest bidder. Yes we are auctioning him out and pimping him out and handing him out, but we still have a stubborn nose and stiff upper lip. WE DECIDE who deserves to win this auction. Of course, obscene show of wealth will only help your case. If you are not butt-ugly, that is.

Yes, the gentleman on table 4? Did you put your hand up? What? Oh we don’t start that low. We are auctioning Once Again here, not his last season’s black shirt that doesn’t fit him anymore! C’mon sir, you can do better than that.

Yes, sir, you in the corner? You want to bid? Can you please remove that brown paper-bag from your head before you quote a price? Geez! We really aren’t high on the cuteness index there, are we?

Yes, that is a promising hand coming up on the right side. The hand that is attached to that tall hot thing with a cute face? Very encouraging sir, please put a bid sir. No, no, exhibit is not interested in threesomes with you and your wife. Sorry didn’t you read the invite? It said D-A-T-I-N-G.

Yes, that investment banker wearing a dollar-patterned suit? Yes sir? Is that the price you are quoting? What… you want him not to throw tantrums, not to argue and not to spend your money? No sir. We cant accept such terms. One must allow the exhibit to binge on your hardly-hard-earned bonus made by stuffing stupid corporations in Romania with junk bonds.

Yes, that is a promising face and a promising price in the center of the room… *exhibit interrupts* Oh apparently exhibit has already dated you in the past sir and does not wish to repeat the mistake. Very tempting offer sir, but we must decline. And please throw that 10-year old photo of the exhibit you are holding on to. It wont help.

You sir? You should not even be this room! The exhibit is looking for a date, not a grandfather. No sir, sugar-daddies come with an age limit. You are twice as old as the age limit itself. No sir, please go home to your old dog and old TV and old couch. Please sir.

Yes Ma’am? You are interested? Oh sadly the exhibit does not shake that way. Yes Ma’am, sigh, such is the life. I mean, if he did, I wouldn’t be auctioning him away to others, now would I?

Yes, that bunch of teenyboppers there? Oh how old did you say you were? 20? Really? You look, erm, much younger. Yes can I see your ID please? No sirs, 15 is not the age to be bidding for this fine, desirable exhibit here.

Oh, did we already reject everyone’s bids? Anyone, anyone? Anyone in this room, who the exhibit might consider worth dating? That is disappointing sirs, that is, I tell you. We will have to close the auction this week Ladies and Gentlemen. We will reopen the auction on Once Again next Friday. Same place, same time. And yes there will be cosmopolitans and martinees at the cocktail reception. And hopefully, there will also be a cute, single, smart, fun, gay, adult bidder for the exhibit. In the meantime, if you want to make a private placement offer, please email me at Casa.Wall@gmail.com and pray for a reply. Oh, and don’t forget to mention the auctioneer’s commission, thank you.

anybody home !?

Yes, I know I have been conspicuous by my absence and time and again, maybe ten times and sometimes twenty, you log in here, refresh your page and wonder "what happened to once again!? Is he out saving the world !?"

Well, from bad design and fashion, yes he is.

But he's also recuperating.

-gasp- do I hear you go !? sit down and fret not, cuz he's simply being dramatic.

Yes, life is being tuff and all of that and yes you wonder, just how much will once again have to endure, but really I am alright. Fine, maybe a tad lonely and a tad sad, but really I am fine. Ok, a tad overweight and a tad broke but besides that really I am fine and oh work is great, thank you.

So earlier this week, M finally left. She's gone. forever. never to return, of course except maybe once in two years for a month or maybe two. But that isn't the same, is it !? And yes, S gets married next year july. Not a very good feeling, lemme tell you. I want my friends back. I want life back. I want the comfort. I want the freedom to be stupid, I want the freedom to be me. I don't want to compete because I am scared I will lose. Is it asking for too much, that my frnds be miserable just like me !?

someone suggested I should be more positive, less pessimistic, more optimistic, see the glass half full as opposed to half empty, the silver lining and yada yada.

Maybe I should.

Maybe I will.

But until then, there are a thousand thoughts jumbled up in my head. And thought by thought, patiently I untangle them. It's going good, lemme tell you. And at times it's fun contemplating the future.

Does make one a tad lonely, but its fun nevertheless , though a lil uneasy, but that's really because I havnt smoked in three weeks now. Which is not a good thing. Cuz a bloke needs his smoke and someone's just taken away mine along with my mojo

and I want my mojo back.
and
I
will
get
it
back.

Did I hear you cry - " can once again get thru it all? will his strength support his unquenchable spirit? "

fret not.
the mojo will be back.
hopefully.

p.s:- i kept half a roza because I forgot I was to fast and ate breakfast, but post that I fasted and then had the yummiest chicken canopies for iftari. yum. and that is what one calls a perfectly non fitting arbit ending.

and the world cries " he's done it again, he's done it again"

a post in which I am hungover, unwell, tired, broke and whiney

so basically, nothing new.

I hereby publicly announce that I will make all sincere attempts to not drink myself silly on purpose. [yea ok, whatever]

or atleast when I have drunk myself silly one night, I will try not to drink the next night. try

did you know excessive drinking can give you the loosies !?

according to my mother, I have a cold [ a real bad one at that ] because I have been drinking again. Really !?

She thinks I had "A" drink.

we met the casa. much fun was had. she saw what gb is all about. the horror, the tribulations of my existence.

we will blame casa for getting me drunk. her fault, really.

and we will thank her for the lovely ikea lamps and the lovely breakfast, yummy pancakes

My bestestest friend M who got married earlier in may this year got her visa and will be gone FOREVER in approx 15 days.

I don't like it.

If that wasn't enough, S had to break the news to me that his grandmother [yea whatever woman] wants to see him married because she believes she may die and thus they have almost finalized the dates for his wedding, the 1st day of march/july'08.

So my only two childhood friends are now gonna be married, with one of them having relocated.

I really don't like it.

With S's wedding now happening, he's only like the 21st person my age whose getting married.

Yes 20 other people I know, friends, acquaintances, cousins, people I'd like to kill, people I loathe, people I positively will kill one day are all getting married.

So basically they will have families and children and will go on holidays and I will have prada and gucci and go to amsterdam.

did u also know that when you want to pee really bad and I mean like i-am-contemplating-maybe-i-shud-pee-in-the-empty-plastic-bottle-bad pee you can't walk. Like you actually limp as if you sprained ur leg, but its only that your balls friggin ache.

my teeth hurth, no my jaw actually. cuz I have only like sneezed 283 times today

maybe, sneezing and having the loosies will amount to good calorie burning

and casa said, I am not half as gay as my blog makes me sound. so what did she expect !? A flaming queen with a fendi handbag and green rimmed glasses with masacara'ed eyes who goes to the spa to get a clean up every 15 days !?!

OKAY FINE, I do get a clean up every 30 days. FINE. HAPPY. But only because its hygienic and black heads are not good.

really.

its called, someone please take my foot and shove it my mouth syndrome.

so I have not one but two sites coming to an end. which means double the oh-my-god, this isn't right, double the oh no you must choose the fabric I liked and not the one you did, cuz lets face it ... a] you're like errr paying me and b] you wudn't even want to make an underwear out of that, your penis might just get scared and retract thanks to the catastrophe u'd have inflicted.

but then do clients learn, no they do not. So I needed a mirror and my point being this one client had been eating my brains to stop by and check this mirror he claimed, I would love. "I bought it from this old Iranian lady when I moved to mumbai", he proclaimed.

Errr. Ok. Send it over to the site then, I'll have a look.

Him:- So did you see the mirror
me:- oh, you've sent it on site, cool, lemme see
him:- yes, I did yesterday, I think its in the master bedroom
me:- ummm, no I don't see nothing here
him:- It's on site I am sure
me:- No Mr.R, theres nothing here,except this really horrid white round framed mirror in what looks like plastic, oh god yes, plastic. thats all, you sure the contractor got it on sie?

- silence -

me:- Mr R !?
him:- Ummm, yes that is the one, the mirror
me:- ummmm, oh okay.

- silence -

me:- it's like plastic ...
him:- yea, we don't have to ....
me:- oh goodie. it's nice tho, but yea, lets not use it.

but seriously, WHAT WAS HE THINKING.

anyways, we are using it, in one bathroom. its ugly. but then hey, the domestic help needs a mirror too, no !?

and once again

sigh

- sob-sob-sob-sob-sob -

cuz now orkut says

male, 25, single
Bombay, Maharashtra
India.

i-am-old-and-fat-and-single-and-have-an-alcohol-problem-and-i-am-gonna-die-smoking

only good thing being

atleast, I'll die wearing a nice pair of uber cool green puma shoes, with a yet to come into my hands gucci wallet in the pocket of my new but need alteration-cuz-i-am-short esprit denims, with a nice sling bag from hi-design, with me skin which'd be lovely and glowie glowie thanks to the forest essential gift vouchers, probably high on unmentionable substances gifted to me and i'd be smelling like heaven thanks to 212, happy that in my room there hangs yet another nice work of art.


besides the growing old part, birthdays can actually be fun. the fact that u're drunk at 3.30 in the afternoon over brunch cud be responsible to that feeling of joy.

blimey ! I dare say I am addicted.

six books down in two weeks

one to go

and then I can reclaim some existence of social life.

did they really have to kill dumbledore tho !? sigh

and one must remember to savor the book, no more than one chapter a day.

its worrisome innit, that I actually considered taking the bus to go out for dinner the other night, only so that I could read some.

enter orgasm !!!

So, I will finally have a gucci wallet by the end of august :-) [excuse the bad image quality]

HEE HAW !!!

ok wait, thats not how I really orgasm.

Really, I don't.

You believe me, dunchyu !?

WTF.

HEEEE HAWWWW !!!!

p.s:- I lurveeeeeee you ms.verma :-) I reallly reallly reallly do