She wanted a green wall and yellow lights. She always had one question for me, just when would her room be ready !? I want a large dressing area with a big mirror, said she.
But you're only ten, what are you gonna do with a mirror that big !?
For when I grow up ... and I want draws to keep things, like mummy has.
Fine, after uncle Ram's wedding we'll work on your mirror.
Promise ?!
Promise.
I ddn't go for Uncle Ram's wedding. I was too lazy.
This evening I called to congratulate and confirm that the painter was gonna be there tomorrow morning.
Four days ago and a day before her uncles wedding, an event for which we had momentarily stopped the renovations of her room, an allergic reaction to a food item triggered an asthama attack which proved fatal for the little girl
All of ten and she's gone.
It's at times like these you realize just how bitchy can life be. When there are fucking millions of arseholes who should be dead, the world loses a 10 yr old child.
I am sorry Dhwani for not having given you the mirror before.
Cuz for now, there's going to be wall so big, with a mirror that big and draws that many, but no one to use them.
May you rest in peace. Always.
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I have always been weary of death. It scares me. I have never handled it well. I worry, worry that my parents are turning old. And its moments like these which fuckin jerk up the dust you have accumulated over your fears.
I have no balls to face her mother.
What do you tell a mother who lost a ten yr old child to a stupid food reaction !? Do you look her in her eyes !? Or do you remain oblivion to her pain !? Do you go on, discussing the mirror !? Do you ignore the color green !?
I have no balls.
Stupid fucking unfair life.
It's different when you're there. It's a very different view on either sides of the fence.
ReplyDeleteA week, a month... everyone survives, everyone moves on. The mother will. And so will you.
Keep the memories.
I am so very sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. Wish I could just give you a big hug.
ReplyDeleteWhy do bad things happen to good people? Its probably one of the most asked questions and sought after answers that we as humans ask ourselves on a daily basis...its one of life's greatest mysteries. Yet, no answer seems valid or 'fair' enough when that moment of tragedy strikes.
ReplyDeleteI commend you for still giving her the mirror. Upon looking at her reflection, she will remember you and as a result, cherish the good people that life had to offer as well :)
*hugs*
ReplyDeleteLife is unfair. Just tell them you are sorry, they will understand. What else can one say anyway.
@ iz:- I know life goes and everyone survives. I repeat, its just very sad, there are so many assholes who should be dead and we lose 10 yr old's.
ReplyDeleteiz:- Thanks. I am just an outsider tho, to the entire episode. I just feel very bad for the family. No one should have to go through something like this, no one.
say what:- Well all we can do is hope, she rests in peace. That truly raises questions of one's belief in the afterlife and god, things which I dont subscribe to.
casa:- True, what else can one say anyways. I did visit them last night and after two moments of silence, we attempted to discuss the pending work, the covers for the sofa. Never have I tried this hard to concertarte, never.
Really sucks doesn't it? I lost my cousin just the day before the new year as well.
ReplyDeleteI too didn't want to meet my aunt and didn't know what I could say. But I wetn anyway and I just held her and she held me and we cried together. I don't think it made her feel any better (how could it?) but I think it mattered that I came and that I cared...