restrospection ...

Work has been busy. I havent taken an off, not even my fridays in the last three weeks. Not even yesterday. I started another project.

Since I am supposed to be co-ordinating the availability of nitco denko tapes and felt pads so that losers can drive cars on the roads, I shud go back to what I was doing. Meanwhile, I was browsing thru my older blog, a straight one :) and bumped into this. Written on the 12th day of September, 2005. My 12th day @ work here and just about three weeks back in India.

- sigh -

I miss em good ole days

I - MBA !

So my first official post from my desk @ work ! A new computer even !!! Yes my own desk with my own computer with a password even. Work and me - Unblueible - un-b-lue-ible !!!! What work do i do? I work with my dad. What does my dad do ? My dad is into textiles ! What textiles you ask? Warp Knitted textiles !!! Warp Knitted textiles are different from other textiles ! how ? because something was said to me some 10,000 times in this past week. So thats why warp knitted textiles are different than woven textiles, and the latter being of great interest to me. But we speak of my work ! So what work do I do ? I work for me Dad and what do i do there? Well, it is mandatory all questions must cease when said, I work for my dad. If u insist on knowing. I sit at a desk, staring my monitor and try my level best to look resourceful while i secretly obsess over the ostentatious use of blue in my factory, my own factory *sigh* !!! So that is what I do.

And also this is what I do. I have stimulating conversations

Event: Day two at work
Location: Works Manager Cabin
Ambience: Annonyingly blue interiors
Characters: Works Manager, Moi and T.P

Me: staring at blue soft board, blue chair, blue mats
W.M: warp knittin is somethin somethin somethin somethin somethin !
Me: now seriously getting tormented with the flamboyant use of blue in my own factory * sigh * how cud they !!!?!
Enter Third Party (t.p)
T.P: Helloji
Me - * after putting on the world is a great place, welcome to our lil celestial spehre smile * Hello
W.M: he is to be being the directors Son
T.P: giving me a very disconcerting look and then breaking into the this world is indeed a fabulous place and this blue is so groovy smile - Oh ho ho Hello Hello !

-okay then-

W.M: givin t.p approving look - he just gotted back from australia. he dided MBA. * yes i stopped correcting people exactly 30 seconds after I landed. MMM not MBA *
T.P: giving approving look, so he is the young prince !!
Me: uh huh ! ok then ! did he just say prince?!? tellme he ddnt say prince !!!
T.P: so the young prince * he said it again * is here to assist his dad. very nice, u guys make the fabric and he will now advance and design cars !!!!!

And they went -chuckle chuckle !!!

So i sit here and dream of designing cars, because that is what people do after their australian MBA ...

For all those who seem very concerned about my constant cribbing about being here and doing this and not being there and doing that, clearly if I had a choice, i wouldnt crib now ! Or would I ?!? who cares ?!? I have cars to design and blue walls to stare at.

I really wish that something which i should not be speaking of, only cause I will jinx it, happens.

I am now going to go back to staring at the monitor, dipping some buscuits in chai and yes obesessing over the blue. Maybe the next time I'll tell you about manoj. He's our very quite, softspoken, articulte account manager who just needs to learn how to SHUT THE FUCK UP nd also not switch the goddamn AC off every time he thinks we have reached antartica ! Man this blue just keeps getting groovier by the minute !!!!!

today

go smoke some
go blank out
cry
sulk and mope
you need to pass out
sleep
sleep the sleep reserved for an infant
cuz
when you do wake up
theres shit to deal with
yes, they've infested it upon you again
yet again
O'cmon
spare me the drama
you know you let em do it
so fuck off you wuss
smoke
and drink
and pass out
cuz
when you are you
theres not much you can do
but
run
and
run
and
run
cuz u always let em do this to you.

of s&m , gay porn and diwali bangs !!!!

I went on a date with Hot boi and then I sneaked him home at 1.00 am, walked past my parents bedroom half expecting my father to walk out. I realised, even if someday when I am sneaking some fellow in and they happen to chance upon my sneakery [yes, its my new word] I mean its no big deal right, he's just a friend, right !? He's coming home cuz he wants the cd for some latest game or something.

I mean what did u think dad, what could I do with a hot looking boi. * sheeesh *

So yes, Hot boi and I [blush] were at it again. But this time we followed the norm. We first went out on a date like normal people and then *blush blush blush* Ahem, we've met twice before and we just did the deed. We were supposed to do dinner and drinks and then go to the movies. But dinner and drinks ddnt happen, so we skipped away to the movies. And I swear, benchod, I wanna slap all those arseholes who told me Lageraho Munnabhai is a good movie. I was quite pleasantly suprised when Hot Boi, ddnt like the movie either. Yay, he has some taste and doesnt find stupid slapstick humor as the best thing that happened to the world. So to celebrate the joy and overcome the trauma of having to sit thru the movie, we decided to go hang out at my place. And thats how my Diwali came to an end.

With a bang, excuse the pun, it was truly co-incidental

Sunday night saw the bestest fraaands s&m come home for diwali dinner. Since I hadnt met "M" in the longest time, there was so much to catch up on, especially all the embarrassment that we had to put "S" through. So after eating like pigs and being tormented by my father, who btw now has only one mission in life, to get me and all my friends married. At the dining table, this is how the conversation flowed.

Dad to S:- So when are you getting married !?
S:- [giggling like a school girl] theres time uncle
Dad to M:- And you, beta?
M:- [giggling like a bride-to-be]:- Dont know yet uncle, next year maybe, once ajay comes down
Me:- Dad, can we talk about something else please.
Dad:- Sure.
Dad to M:- So next year, huh!?
Me:- never mind.

Somewhere along the evening, M decided she was gonna shred her humane image and turn into a ravaging, scary looking monster, so off went the hairclip and she let out the i-am-gonna-make-u-pee-in-ur-pants weapon, her mop like hair. "S" wanted to watch some stupid F1 race, because apparently it was like micheal shumakers last race and all, like really wow, my heart stopped beating. Like who cares dude. So, everytime he mentioned the race, we slapped him. So much fun I say. [jumps in joy]

Can I watch the race - slap -
phone beeps, sms about the race - slap -
but .. its micheals - slap -
last race - slap -
I wanna smoke - slap - Oh, sorry - yes lets go smoke

To gross the two of them out, I put in some gay porn into the dvd under the pretext of switching on Omkara, to entertain my guests. Aaaaah, the pleasure of seeing two people getting utterly disgusted I tell you. Divine.

This one had a theme. A latino goes into a hotel for an interview, the first scene shows two chef's cooking, then getting into an argument, then getting into a physical fight, which voilah turns erotic. ofcourse, they have the works, theres freshly whipped creame to smere on the bodies and lick. Enough, I hear you say !?

*rotlf*

While "M" kept going eeeeeh, eeeeeeh eeeeeeeh at an interval of 1.5 seconds, "S" had the look of horror and terror meets jaylalitha. I am not too sure, if it were M's hair that did the trick or the porno. A visibly shaken up "S" had his eyes closed and his face looked like he had been like constipated for the last 11,000 years. All this after I chose one of the sanest porn films. Oooooh, I tell you, its tres fun to be horrid sometimes.

*giggles*

Ofcourse, the final joke was one me, cuz my recently educated friends wanted to know which of the recently witnessed acts did I indulge in.

-cough-

sorry what !?
cant hear you, you're cracking up
helooooooo.
Ok, I think its time you go home :)

myself, once again !!!!

So after like lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of contemplation, I am finally back online. Considering I have been off the dating [yes yes, em faggotty sites] for like 8 months now, I must admit, its truly fun to be back online.

No, I havnt met a single interesting person yet. And the chances that I will are also scarce. But what I will have in abundance are the hello dears and how ares you !? Theres never been and never will there ever be a dearth of these types in the bombay gay community. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors and most intrestingly their varied accents !!!

So here, yet another peak-a-boo into a faggots life in bombay city

ur location dear? me a mature hansome guy frm north,if interested in 40's guy message me

see see see, we have the retro classic variety. yay

hi my name is rushub can u give u r email id or contact no so that we can proceed

sure, I'll give you my residential address directly , why dunchyu just come over and marry me and then we shall proceed. [i love the I dont care if u're intrested or not attitude, lets proceed I say]

you seems handsome guy...

I also seems to blushes when you says thats ......

hi mr knowit all! wann know me as well? purab

Hold me .. hold me ... someone hold me ... I am so smitten by the sarcasm. Wowwww [and while we are at that, this bloke is certainly gonna score some if he keeps up at this]

this is one of my favourites :-

hi if u expect honesty i feel u can get more from matured people like me i am 35plus guuju guy well placed in life decent well manered, and above all single, and very honest, if intd than call me on 98*******

so there, guys4men has proven it, only matured people are honest. what more can one ask for, he's 35 plus and, he's well placed in life, he's well manered [and he knows his spellings] and above all he's single ... like WOW. he's single dude. weeee !!!

then him who I ignored. I think he felt a tad bad and I say this cuz .. he said this *sob*

u can reply my message ok

sure, I can reply your message ok. I just dont want to reply your message. ok

the next two are my most adored messages, I almost wanted to frame them and like hang them in some corner of my house ...

hi how r ui m 23 m mumbai what about u u have palce replay me

hehehehe, i really love this one. so even made a song and thus I present to you the benny-onceagain-benassi remix of satisfaction

sure baby, I'll replay you ...
push me .. and then replay me ... till i get my satisfaction !!!
come on baby replay me ..
ooh hooo ooooooh, yes go on replay me ...
but dear, I dont have palce.
still baby, can I replay you !?!
ooh hooo ooooooh, yes go on replay me ...

and last but not the least

Hi! Myself Bottom , 24 - M / Working for andheri - BOMBAY

Clearly my parents ddnt possess an ioata of creativity, cuz if they would have, they would have come up with an equally creative name like bottom/top/versatile for me also. Hmph. Ddnt I atleast deserve a nice name. -sigh-

These are just a few of the zillion messages that flood the inbox. And yes I know, a few people here and there find me a tad too cynical and uptight and bitchy and petty and blah blah blee blee boo. So, I kept aside my cynicsm. I left behind the sarcasm and I shred my uptight image and met a not so convincing candidate for coffee ... and spoke to another on the phone.

The coffee bloke sat in my car and in ten seconds went " So, you freak on english music " [I am sorry, whaat!?] and after ten mins of having him in my car, I excused myself and told him my friend had met with an accident [doesnt one always on a bad date] he went "So, how do we take this further" ... uh well, I'll send across my fellow with a contract tomorrow which says STOP TALKING LIKE THAT YOU FREAK, you sign the form and thereby agree to ignore me whenever you see me. Thank you.

The telephone guy, refused to divulge any details when I asked him what did he do [i presume he worked for the indian secret army]. So in an effort to create conversation I asked him, if he liked goin out and he said," no I dont like disco's but I do like hanging out at ccd"

Unfortunately for me, I freak on english music, go out to disco's and dont hang out at ccd. [cafe coffee day]

Do I have no future, I hear you ask ...

I worry so.

but atleast I have entertainment

woah !!!

ummmmmmmm ....

I was in for a funny suprise today, I ddnt realize stupid beta.blogerr would require me to [re!?]edit my profile and thus disable my so-called second blog which ummm has nothing but like a dozen pictures of some house I designed four years ago. Unedited, amateur pictures I would never show to the world :-) [thank god for photoshop]

well, when I just accidentally logged in to that blog, I saw a comment for casa dearest and realized OMG its fucking visible to the entire world :)

:) Casa, thats not my house. And those pics are four years old, Lcd's were shit expensive then and for the record, the 1500 sq ft house was done from door to bathroom in a stringent budget of 0.9 million :) [yes, I like using millions instead of lacs]

here .. a couple of the pics for the world to view .. Unedited. I know, I am brave :-

the living room walls sans any art work, now the wall above the teevee holds some really nice work from some artist whose name I forgot, the sofa's and consoles were sourced from good ole chor bazaar !!!

Please ignore the oh-so-tacky vase on the console to the left, I dun even know why wasnt it removed when I clicked the pics. The indian seating towards the far end of the room is my fav spot. And that wall, towards the right of the window houses a lovely v.s mani work of art now.

ok, I am gonna gloat. This bedsheet was designed by me for Bombay Dyeing for their then collection. Four of my designs. Very bad quality of printing tho.
and yet again, ignore THAT THING framed on the wall. the lady of the house insisted she wanted that above her head. Clients, sigh !!!

No ma ... really ma .. no ma ... no no no no no no NOoooo maaaaa !!!!!

Note to self:- Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever eve ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever leave your camera on the coffee table if you havnt deleted pictures that are not safe for - cough - parental viewing !!!!

cuz when you do leave it on the centre table the chances that your mother will pick it up and want to see it are very very very strong.

and when she sees this

she might want to know whose they are !?! and most importantly why they are being focused on !? Ummmm, errrrrr, no Mom I promise I am not a perv ... they belong to "S" .. oh yea, she's S mom. and no, I am not sleeping with her

these ma, belong to "M" ... and I can tell you why I clicked em, cuz they looked so big no ma that day, I was proud of her. It looked like she had finally hit puberty. They have grown ma, they have.

this mumma is "F" and in my defense, I ddnt take this picture. *gulp*

look ma, pretty beads no ?!

Why, just why did U HAVE HOLD YOUR BOOB "M" !?! Just why !?!
Oh wait, I asked you to.

Ummmm, cough bad lighting no ma, how do I explain this one !?!

she stared at this one for a whole three minutes. I shat and I shat and I shat some more. That's F ma and she's really sweet, and that ummm is an aerial view !!!!

this is c's butt and by the time we got to this I just shut up. For a mother who thinks her son is the ideal out-of-hand child, I ddnt have much to offer as a justification. Though after finding ciggerates and alcohol and panties in my drawers I am not too sure if I should say this has suprised her entirely.

When I naratted the story to the sister, she couldnt stop laughing and she's convinced my mother now thinks I make pornography or something.

Well, once when over the topic of my marriage when I said I am not to keen on getting married she looked at me with disdian and went " Oh well yes, why would you, you anyways do all those things people do after marriage "

but
ummm
err
but
ma ....

well, atleast she thinks I am getting some action. and yes, I suffer from the foot-in-rut sydnrome. Yes, I always invite it upon myself.

you know ur gay in bbay when ....

Last week, when I logged into my yahoo, I had someone requesting me to add em on, thinking I must have interacted with him/her sometime during the course of the week, I ackowledged their request, only to realise that someone was passing on my yahoo id.

When I realized .. I ddnt know who the person was, I politely declined and deleted him ... and told him in very plain, simple, polite english, I wasnt into the a.s.l chat routine and I wasnt looking for anything.

However, english is a language that not everyone comprehends and during the course of this entire week and a half, everytime I logged in this fuckwit would keep messaging me ... I ignored. I once again politely declined. I ignored some more and I ignored some more.

Last night, he messaged me some 200 times .. and yahoo like always was playing its evil tricks with me and thus even tho I ignored him and added him as spam his window would keep popping up, so for you my dear readers I present a very intriguing conversation in the day of a faggot's life in mumbai ..


vrindavan_5000 is currently not in your Messenger List.
Add to your Messenger List (Ctrl+Shift+A) Report as Spam (Alt+Shift+R)

vrindavan_5000: hey u there
vrindavan_5000: face to face cam ok
me: I am not interested dude, thanks, could you leave me alone?
vrindavan_5000: face to face cam ok
vrindavan_5000: face to face cam ok
You have been invited to view vrindavan_5000's webcam.
Accept (Alt+Shift+A) Decline (Alt+Shift+D)

BUZZ!!!
me: no thanks
vrindavan_5000: but y
me: fuck u dude
me: i am not fuckin interested
vrindavan_5000: y
me: dunchyu get the FUCKING HIT
me: *HINT
vrindavan_5000: means
vrindavan_5000: me too can hve face to face
vrindavan_5000: chat
me: FUCK OFF
me: I AM NOT INTERESTED
vrindavan_5000: i m a nbbs studnt
me: U COMPREHEND ENGLISH?
me: GOOD FOR u
me: NOW FUCK OFF
vrindavan_5000: u got adddedto me
vrindavan_5000: tats it
vrindavan_5000: oh common
me: YEA WELL, now delete me and do urself a favour
vrindavan_5000: watu thk opf urs self u rubbisgh
me: yes, you're right, i am rubbish
me: so quit wasting ur time
vrindavan_5000: ok
vrindavan_5000: any way
vrindavan_5000: i m really sory if hve hve troubld u
vrindavan_5000: try to bhe nicee to othres ok
vrindavan_5000: who wants u to fuk u shit
vrindavan_5000: who did came
vrindavan_5000: u r the same as all
vrindavan_5000: wen u come on line alll dai thougt would talk tatsall ok
vrindavan_5000: who u thk u r
vrindavan_5000: behaviour is wat counts
vrindavan_5000: ok baby
vrindavan_5000: its bye 4 u
vrindavan_5000:
vrindavan_5000 has canceled the invitation to start photo sharing.


seriously mr. vrindavan_5000 [like haywards 5000!?!] the next time someone says FUCK OFF, it does mean F-U-C-K O-F-F !!!!

and he even called me baby !!!

- yelp -

prince charming, was that you !?!