Transititions suck. Especially if you are forever transiting. For whatever little space my brain offers, as far as I can remember I have been in transition mode or as many call it the confusion ala once again mode. Well, I am not gonna go into a fathomless anaylsis of my fucked up life but this is what the general scene is like these days
me [on the phone with t ] :- you know what I have reached a zen like state. I like to call it the zenhyper state, where I am really calm admist all this chaos
t : its ok, you'll figure it out
me: no, I have decided. it's all about making a decision and sticking to it
t: uh huh
me: so I am gonna stick around with dad, afterall now I am begining to understand things @ work and its kinda kewl you know people like stand up et all and say good morning sir [giggle]
t:- you do know that quite doesnt qualify as the best reason to want to stick around, cuz people stand up to wish you good morning
me:- ofcourse I know its not the best reason. The security gaurds salute me. That is the best part
t:- never mind
me:- you know m kidding
t:- sometimes I worry, you're not
I get a call on the call wait
me: yep, hello
lady:- Hi is that R
me:- yep, this is he
lady:- Hi, R this is blah blah from blah blah agency and I was just going through your profile and blah blah blah blah and we would like to consider you for the post of blah blah in our agency
me:- uh huh
inner voice :- say no ! say no ! say no ! say no !
lady:- are u still looking for a change
inner voice:- say no ! say no ! be firm ! no more confusion
me:- yes, i actually am
inner voice:- doh !
lady:- so is friday 9.00 am good for you !?
inner voice:- There einstein have fun. 9.00 am friday morning.
evil devil voice:- its toooo early
me:- Oh well, I am gonna have to look into my planner [ which I dont have ] may I place you on hold for a moment
lady:- sure thing
me:- [so, if its in worli, it'll take me an hour by car plus 15 mins to park Omg ! Omg ! 9.00 am means I leave home at 7.30]
me:- ummm, how about post lunch friday around 2.30 !?
lady:- sure, see you friday then
me:- ta
back to t [ who obviously hung up cuz she has no phone etiquttes ]
me:- ok, so I have an interview
t:- [in loud i-am-confused-and-concerned-tone] another one !? I thought you just said .. never mind
me:- yep, the company is big, the offer sounded good plus its only an interview
t:- sure, like the last 15 interviews you gave
me:- hey atleast I got those jobs
t:- yes which you just ddnt takeup
me:- cuz it involvd travelling by local trains !! LOCAL trains, this one's in worli. I can drive ! I can drive !
me:- and its all about making a decision and sticking to it [ snigger ]
t:- yes, where have I heard that before now !!!!
me:- oh ho, be supprotive.
So I have another interview. Since January 2006 this is my ummm errr 13th or 14th interview and I have got most of the jobs I interviewed for. Except one which I really really wanted with RGM cuz they had like sat and sun off. How cool. Well so yes, I do have another interview and these people have gotten in touch with me 4 times, so I guess its a sign of sorts plus they are located right opposite atria mall where ALDO SHOES is having a sale. Did you hear that, ALDO SHOES is having a SALE. The Summer Sale. yay !
the problems with stepping out in the big bad world outside are:-
* The commuting. Right now work is 10 mins away !! Any job outside would involve hideous amounts of commuting. And the sorts of salaries they offer, driving is not a luxury one can afford. So if I drive, then I am left with a measly amount which so-does-not-make-it-worth-the-effort. And no, local trains cannot happen.
* The timings - I reach work anywhere between 10 [10.30 is also 10] and 11.30 [12.00pm is also 11.30] and like a good government employee I am off by 6.00. Sometimes half five and if I am feeling a wee bit guilty 5 mins past 6 :)
* The fact that I am going to be abandoning the family bizz and runing away from my responsibilites
* Plus the fact lies that its a ready made platform, not everyone gets an opportunity.
The good thing would be:-
* I'll be finally doing something I enjoy
* Spending time away from home [ big big big plus point ]
* Meeting interesting people I can connect to unlike @ work atm. Where I eat lunch with manoj [who is worthy of an entire post] where are conversations are monosyllabic.
* And once again, most importantly doing something meaningful with my life.
* Plus imagine :) Being opposite atria mall or next to any nicer mall with Aldo and the bathshop to visit
Not to forget the confusion that arises with decisions like, if i am gonna step away from the family thingie then why not interior design. Its a fight between responsibilities, luxuries, comfort, creativity and satisfaction. And its not an easy decision. Theres only transition, transition and more transition. For now I must go and decide whats gonna be the attire for my interview. Oh well, the only pair of formal pants and formal shirt I possess :)
Well as I keep saying, I am way too comfortable in my numbness. Comfortably Dumb and that is something that causes me some major concern !!!
Me:- the tribulations of this life, this very vexatatious life !!!
Inner Voice:- oh shut up ! drama queen !!!
p.s:- oh and just incase i forgot to mention. ALDO is having a sale !!! yay ! yay ! yay !
me [on the phone with t ] :- you know what I have reached a zen like state. I like to call it the zenhyper state, where I am really calm admist all this chaos
t : its ok, you'll figure it out
me: no, I have decided. it's all about making a decision and sticking to it
t: uh huh
me: so I am gonna stick around with dad, afterall now I am begining to understand things @ work and its kinda kewl you know people like stand up et all and say good morning sir [giggle]
t:- you do know that quite doesnt qualify as the best reason to want to stick around, cuz people stand up to wish you good morning
me:- ofcourse I know its not the best reason. The security gaurds salute me. That is the best part
t:- never mind
me:- you know m kidding
t:- sometimes I worry, you're not
I get a call on the call wait
me: yep, hello
lady:- Hi is that R
me:- yep, this is he
lady:- Hi, R this is blah blah from blah blah agency and I was just going through your profile and blah blah blah blah and we would like to consider you for the post of blah blah in our agency
me:- uh huh
inner voice :- say no ! say no ! say no ! say no !
lady:- are u still looking for a change
inner voice:- say no ! say no ! be firm ! no more confusion
me:- yes, i actually am
inner voice:- doh !
lady:- so is friday 9.00 am good for you !?
inner voice:- There einstein have fun. 9.00 am friday morning.
evil devil voice:- its toooo early
me:- Oh well, I am gonna have to look into my planner [ which I dont have ] may I place you on hold for a moment
lady:- sure thing
me:- [so, if its in worli, it'll take me an hour by car plus 15 mins to park Omg ! Omg ! 9.00 am means I leave home at 7.30]
me:- ummm, how about post lunch friday around 2.30 !?
lady:- sure, see you friday then
me:- ta
back to t [ who obviously hung up cuz she has no phone etiquttes ]
me:- ok, so I have an interview
t:- [in loud i-am-confused-and-concerned-tone] another one !? I thought you just said .. never mind
me:- yep, the company is big, the offer sounded good plus its only an interview
t:- sure, like the last 15 interviews you gave
me:- hey atleast I got those jobs
t:- yes which you just ddnt takeup
me:- cuz it involvd travelling by local trains !! LOCAL trains, this one's in worli. I can drive ! I can drive !
me:- and its all about making a decision and sticking to it [ snigger ]
t:- yes, where have I heard that before now !!!!
me:- oh ho, be supprotive.
So I have another interview. Since January 2006 this is my ummm errr 13th or 14th interview and I have got most of the jobs I interviewed for. Except one which I really really wanted with RGM cuz they had like sat and sun off. How cool. Well so yes, I do have another interview and these people have gotten in touch with me 4 times, so I guess its a sign of sorts plus they are located right opposite atria mall where ALDO SHOES is having a sale. Did you hear that, ALDO SHOES is having a SALE. The Summer Sale. yay !
the problems with stepping out in the big bad world outside are:-
* The commuting. Right now work is 10 mins away !! Any job outside would involve hideous amounts of commuting. And the sorts of salaries they offer, driving is not a luxury one can afford. So if I drive, then I am left with a measly amount which so-does-not-make-it-worth-the-effort. And no, local trains cannot happen.
* The timings - I reach work anywhere between 10 [10.30 is also 10] and 11.30 [12.00pm is also 11.30] and like a good government employee I am off by 6.00. Sometimes half five and if I am feeling a wee bit guilty 5 mins past 6 :)
* The fact that I am going to be abandoning the family bizz and runing away from my responsibilites
* Plus the fact lies that its a ready made platform, not everyone gets an opportunity.
The good thing would be:-
* I'll be finally doing something I enjoy
* Spending time away from home [ big big big plus point ]
* Meeting interesting people I can connect to unlike @ work atm. Where I eat lunch with manoj [who is worthy of an entire post] where are conversations are monosyllabic.
* And once again, most importantly doing something meaningful with my life.
* Plus imagine :) Being opposite atria mall or next to any nicer mall with Aldo and the bathshop to visit
Not to forget the confusion that arises with decisions like, if i am gonna step away from the family thingie then why not interior design. Its a fight between responsibilities, luxuries, comfort, creativity and satisfaction. And its not an easy decision. Theres only transition, transition and more transition. For now I must go and decide whats gonna be the attire for my interview. Oh well, the only pair of formal pants and formal shirt I possess :)
Well as I keep saying, I am way too comfortable in my numbness. Comfortably Dumb and that is something that causes me some major concern !!!
Me:- the tribulations of this life, this very vexatatious life !!!
Inner Voice:- oh shut up ! drama queen !!!
p.s:- oh and just incase i forgot to mention. ALDO is having a sale !!! yay ! yay ! yay !
:)
ReplyDeletei just went to the Aldo sale. Swallowed my lunch in less than 5 mins and ran. Its lovely. I'm going back in the evening.
And yes, i wasn't invited, but i stopped by anyway.
Dear R,
ReplyDeleteLike they say -
"The Grass is always greener on the other side"
Nothing unusual about that.
Happens all the time
The important question, however, is:
"Are you really on either side?"
Or
Do you choose to sit on the wall from where the grass appears green on both the sides, and sigh..
I suppose it's a good time to pick a side..
Maybe it's the right one.
Maybe it's not.
But pick one nonetheless.
AND STICK TO IT while you figure things out!
You know where you are.
You know where you wanna be.
You've done your groundwork.
You've made a few not-so-sincere attempts.
Life is different shades of grey.
At any point, one must choose which shade of grey suits oneself.
If you can't lick the perpetual transition, join it, and enjoy the ride!
NOT AGAIN!
ReplyDelete@ :) :- I went to the sale too :) and found 1400 off on the sandals I was lookin for * yay * !!! [and thank u for stoppin over, luved ya blog - oh well, i'll comment there]
ReplyDelete@ rish :- well, what can I say !? at times the wall is just too comfortable !!
@ anonymous :- no no, its once again !!
can i 'hurl a stone' this time hard enough to shatter the glass????
ReplyDelete*grin*
hope u get de job, kiddo.
Its okay to not know what we want, isnt it? Atleast, that is what I tell myself ;)
ReplyDeleteI picked up shoes from ALdo. yay yay yay!!!1
ReplyDelete