feeling very lost. theres a party tonight, i know he is gonna be there. I want to go there, face my fears and fight them. but is this my fear or just an obsession ?!
yesterday was the second night out in a row and a disastorous one. Never felt this lost amongst a group of friends I have grown to heart over the past six years. Unfortunately for last night, couldnt relate to no one.
tonite, will be the third night out and chances are, it will be equally bad. maybe my fear isnt meeting him, maybe I fear em, who know he and I dont talk. maybe its them who I want to face, not him. cuz to me, I killed him a long time ago. He just ocassionaly strays into reality.
I must let go. I just dont know whom to choose ?! Him or Me !?
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