a stalker, a new car and a cover story !!!

boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen ... and all you faggots out there .... do the happy dance and go weeeeeeeeeee !!!!!

*insert cheers *

My blog completed an entire year on the 13th day of Jan. While I had thought of big things like getting me a new template and shit and doing the entire flashback, retrospect thing, I ddnt even realize when the happy birthdayday of my blog came and went.

Sigh. That is how sad I am.

On a brighter none, I have a stalker. So much fun no, its been a while since I had one of those. Ok, its not fun, its friggin scary, especially when you suddenly realise stalker boi has your visiting card with all your company boardline numbers and addresses on it. Doh !! Well, the stalker boi hasnt done anything frightening as yet, except you know the cliched stalker stuff like calling nonstop and sms'ing nonstop

Hi, I am alone, wanna come over?

Hi, I know you said you dont like me, wanna come over?

Hi, lemme jerk you off on the phone ?! [GROTESQUE]

Hi, I am going away to new york on saturday for ever, I promise I will never bother you again ever. Promise. Lets meet once. Please.

On monday eve.

Hi, I am alone, wanna come over? [like what happened to new york boi]

The next day ..

Hi once again, I guess you're not going to respond. I only wanted to tell you I liked you, but you I guess dont. [wow einstein, u figured] I promise to never bother you ever again. Sorry. Do you want to come over sometime though !?

I am not kidding, this is how he ended the message. I promise never to bother you, do you wanna come over tho !? Like wow man. Last night at 3.00 am I got this message

Hi, I am in dubai, do you have any friends here?

Like yes, I have a few people who want to be stalked. Wait, lemme get out my list of friends. Moron. I am just hoping he's misplaced my visiting card.

Oh and we bought a new car. weeee !!!! Another Honda City[gulp] Yes scream it aloud. Like how SINDHI can my family get. Sindhier than the sindhiest, lemme tell you. Right from the swift to the civic we considered em all. Mum wanted the swift. It's a small car, easy to drive. [errr, ma you dont drive] Dad wanted an Innova. [Err, pa, we are a family of THREE] and I ofcourse wanted the maginificient civic :) Then dad decided the swift was too small and the civic was too big [my, the BIGNESS of the innova just gets ignored] and almost bought an Innova. Puke. Its like having an elephant of your own. Then since there was no option are we are way too sindhi to care about our sindhiness, we just zeroed in on the city. I have come to the conculsion, its the like maruti of the early 90's. Everyone has one these days.

And remember the freelance feature writing for a design magazine that I was gonna do.

Remember? Remember?

After much procrastination, I wrote the copy, sent it to them, they liked it and its the cover story for their march issue :) Yepieee. According to the business india boi, who put me on to the magazine, a cover story is a big deal. I for now just like the sound of it :) Cover Story.

* does the happy dance *

way to go, buddyboy !!!

on new years eve because I reached the geebee party drunk beyond imagination, the guys at the entry thought I was already in there and just let me in free.

Did you read that !? FREEEEE ... weeeee !!!

Now, everytime I have been to a gay bombay party, they sorta give you coupons to get yourself what they call alcohol. Basically 0.1% vodka and 99.9% mixer. Since I walked in free, did you hear that Freeeeeeeee ... weeeeeee !!! I butofcourse ddnt have any coupons. So I walked up to the bar ....

me:- a vodka with cranberry juice please
bartender:- sure and he smiles
me:- me smling back, how much do I owe you ?!
bartender: [gives me a serious look of concern and smiles yet again] nothing

ummm, is he hitting on me !? OMG, he's hitting on me, he's flashing me the meet me at the back of the bar smile. I mean this is stuff gay erotica is made of.

bartender:- after being convinced I am retard smiling into space goes, it's on the house tonight you know, thats what you paid for.
me- ofcourse I did. Thank you

a conversation between my client and I

me:- Hi Aunty, how are you !?
Aunty A:- I am good, I thought you were supposed to come yesterday afternoon !?
me:- Oh, I did and the maid said you were upstairs and your bedroom door was shut and I thought since uncle might be home and you guys would be busy.

AND YOU GUYS WOULD BE BUSY !!?

I mean what the fuck was I thinking !? All I wanted to say, was that you might be sleeping. Not having sex. Really Aunty A. Really.

two days ago, another converstion with this designer I had to interview

me:- Hi sunil, what time am I seeing you today
him:- well, how about 6.30, WIA club !?
me:- alright, 6.30 then.
him:- how long will it take !?
me:- ummm, I dunno, I am guessing if I face traffic, i'll take around an hour to get there
him:- err, no I mean the the interview
me:- ofcourse you do, about 30 mins

sigh.

and just when I quit work to be a full time designer, I finally, like finally got me new curtains made for my bedroom and they look horrid.

O' Irony, why do u always knock on my door only !!? Why !?

.........

She wanted a green wall and yellow lights. She always had one question for me, just when would her room be ready !? I want a large dressing area with a big mirror, said she.

But you're only ten, what are you gonna do with a mirror that big !?

For when I grow up ... and I want draws to keep things, like mummy has.

Fine, after uncle Ram's wedding we'll work on your mirror.

Promise ?!

Promise.

I ddn't go for Uncle Ram's wedding. I was too lazy.

This evening I called to congratulate and confirm that the painter was gonna be there tomorrow morning.

Four days ago and a day before her uncles wedding, an event for which we had momentarily stopped the renovations of her room, an allergic reaction to a food item triggered an asthama attack which proved fatal for the little girl

All of ten and she's gone.

It's at times like these you realize just how bitchy can life be. When there are fucking millions of arseholes who should be dead, the world loses a 10 yr old child.

I am sorry Dhwani for not having given you the mirror before.

Cuz for now, there's going to be wall so big, with a mirror that big and draws that many, but no one to use them.

May you rest in peace. Always.

***********************************************************************************

I have always been weary of death. It scares me. I have never handled it well. I worry, worry that my parents are turning old. And its moments like these which fuckin jerk up the dust you have accumulated over your fears.

I have no balls to face her mother.

What do you tell a mother who lost a ten yr old child to a stupid food reaction !? Do you look her in her eyes !? Or do you remain oblivion to her pain !? Do you go on, discussing the mirror !? Do you ignore the color green !?

I have no balls.

Stupid fucking unfair life.

then maybe you should stop eating !!!!

No more alcohol. No more ciggerates and no more fucking chocolates/desserts for me. PUHLEASE !!!!

I saw I saw I saw, Kareena Kapoor, Karishma Kapoor and Yana Gupta. Kareena Kapoor looks pretty but dresses ugly. Karishma kapoor looked liked a skeleton and Yana Gupta wore a pair of joggin tracks, a tube top fand a bandana for christmas brunch.

And I !? what did I wear !? Blush. My fake energy denims with a black striped gap shirt and my red underwear, 'twas the christmas brunch afterall.

We went to the Taj Lands End for the christmas brunch. Got there at half past 12 and left sometime awfully close to 5.00 !!! Which means, I ate until I wanted to puke. I drank until I wanted to puke and I smoked in the non-smoking section the of The Vista [Vista's!?] until I wanted to puke. I ate everything from the Lamb chops to the turkey. The tuna salad to the gobi. The mashed potatoes to the rissoto. Veggies tossed in olive oil to drumsticks in something oil. I ate the pork and I ate the chicken. I ate the gobi and I also ate the broccoli. I even ate the zuccini. You get the picture, right !?

No you dont. Because after I ate all of that, I ate the desserts and I even ate the fruits and then I ate some more dessert. Please blame the Chocolate Fondue Fountain and the sticky gooey brownies. The chocolate creame cake and the plum cake. The chocolate mousse in small small glasses and all of those tarts.

No, the 5 glasses of champagne ddnt help either.

In my defense this is all spaced out over 5.5 hours. So it isnt all that bad, right !!? Ofcourse not, only if the previous night I wasnt drinking 0 .5% grape juice and 99.5% vodka, a drink made by the closetlalk idiot at the guppies place. Only to be followed up with several rounds of drinks at the Zenzi bar with cee and s, topped by Pav Bhaji, Idli and Chickoo Milk Shake at 4.00 am at Amar Juice Centre in Juhu !!

Somewhere along yesterday's brunch

me:- Seem's wanna go get dessert !?
S:- ummm, lets wait for a while

5 mins later

me:- Seem's wanna go get dessert !?
S:- look of disdain, okay - lets go.

me:- *burrp* Seem's, I think I might wanna puke. *chomp chomp*
S:- [looks at my plate which is stuffed with desserts] Well maybe you should stop eating then
me:- okay
Steward:- Sir, would you like another glass of champagne!?
me:- Errr, sure. Could you also get me some more of those brownies !? Please

and then I met "R" for a bit where I once again ofcourse had to servings of Coconut water.

Burp !!! Wish y'all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday's !!!

an update ...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

I quit my job. I am no more a slave to the family business. For now I am a full time interior designer who has no work. and to know that I am not going to get a paycheque on the seventh of every month is a fuckin unnerving.

I hate being poor and that is exactly what I will be, for the next few months.

A dumb ass sindhi boi who quit the family business in pursuit of happiness. As you can see, I am still living in la la land.

the words of the father:- you do what you want, its your call. dont expect me to support you financially. if this is what you really want, do it.

-gulp-

for now, I begin freelance feature writing for a design magazine and the fuck face that I am, I havnt even discussed the remuneration with em !!! Oh, when will I learn.

for this "R" will go, its not about the money, its not about the money. Believe in yourself, you have the passion, you will do good. So if I dont, he for sure is buying me that civic I have been wanting cuz the father certainly is not.

The trials and tribulations of this life. This vexatatious life.

oh be damned u staright moron !!!

She called me this morning.

She got engaged a few months ago and is supposed to be getting married somewhere in 2008. Ofcourse, "is supposed" conviniently became "was supposed" and 2008 became 2007. The end of 2007, she said or maybe midyear 2007.

She held my hand tight.

" I know, I cant imagine you gone. Can you not move to Australia !? " .. I asked

She held my hand tight.

She called me this morning. It's April, 2007. The month is fixed.

Doesnt the fucking world realize !? Its FUCKING APRIL 2007 and its fucking three months away.

I am not sure, I am ready yet. I am happy. But not happy. not just yet.

Stupidufckingmoron. she.

April 2007. Its fuckin 3 months away.

Bannnchooood and Ialso stand corrected

wokay then .... anyone wants to get their house designed !? banchooooood !!!

and

My dearest friend and dramaqueen in tow, brings to my notice, a person cannot "adorn" an object. It's incorrect english :)

Thus, I stand corrected. Banchooddddddd !!!!